And I wait, hands laid flat against the bed,

Palms facing God; fingers slowly opening and closing like reciting a prayer 
No one can hear

My curtains are drawn closed so tight; my body drenched in darkness, 
As if a sliver of light could cut right through my paper thin skin if I let it,

You are, soundlessly, sleeping in the living room

Are you deaf to how viciously I ache for you? Does it not howl into the night ?

How I tear myself down every evening, tooth and claw,

And rebuild in the morning, so naturally, like eating breakfast

Like petting a rabid dog; even though I know it will bite ? 

I whisper apologies into my pillow

Like if I say them long enough 

I will dream of your forgiveness,