I don't want to exist only when you look at me
I hate to admit that I miss you even when I blink,


Please don't let me sleep, I am tired of my dreams
Where I play on repeat the last day of you and me


I would have loved for you to love me,
 the sirens in the sewers
Sing to me until i weep, 
Reminiscing of stories where I didn't chew
My fingernails so much 
Until I slowly chewed 
Myself out of the picture, 


Finger by finger, October to August, The yesterday still haunts me


I carry a box of matchsticks to burn away  
The thought of my name sounding like broken glass 
Crashing on the floor, Your name sounding like 
The person who must have caused it


I get used to drifting away with the sound
of my loss in the background, 
Starting to mimic the rhythm of my own heartbeat;
I sleep with one eye open 
Since you've been away


I still remember your dimly lit face 
That night we parted,
Illuminated by the light escaping from my mouth
I tried to shut up in case you thought I was the sun,
I cannot make myself seem like something I am not



I never should have broken my celibacy for a ghost story, 
You were born to almost touch, but never quite feel
falling right through my bitten fingernails,
I always wondered if maybe my hands
Were the problem all along



I hate to admit that i miss you even when i blink,
But i blink too fast when i'm afraid sometimes