Inside my womb, thrives a nightmare
Of a barren hell,

It lays haunted, as I 
Sleep I dream of
Children crying;

I dream of cradles
Burning into the 
fruitless night, 

My womb, a playground
For the dead,

They call me Mother
Of the unborn ghost, 

The maimer of light;

The birther of death
Onto a sterilized hospital
Bed, 

I have paid to have my 
Insides branded by metal;

And i keep waking up
With the taste of steel
Onto the back of my teeth,

A constant reminder
That i am a thief
Of life itself,


And as an unmarked grave sits 
Somewhere in a landfill, 

I write eulogies on paper
And throw them in every 
Dumpster i can find,
In hopes it ends up
Back to you,



And when i'm gone, my little one
From this place,

Know i hold you deeply 
In my empty heart,

I hear your voice 
Echoing throughout
My scarred tummy,

Singing tales of  
Wednesday mornings
Coming short, 

Birthday candles
Never been blown, 

Still burning inside 
My lungs 
Until i breathe
Too hard one day
And suffocate on 
The fumes of 
My own sin

The sewers flow beneath me like an ocean
As i gasp for air i am reminded
That my lungs do not exist,
Replaced at birth by two giant iron fists;

And if i had to describe it; 
It be almost like the first time
My teeth started to rip 
Through my gums;

In pain, but not able to 
Tell you why or where
It hurts,

And if anyone had the right mind
To tell me I would start to grow
Backwards into the ground;

I would have held onto you
A little bit tighter,
As my hands rip right through your skin,
Residue of your ghost
Stuck onto my fingers

I'd suck on my thumb
Until I fell asleep