I Start to feel
An itch, As dusk
Creeps onto
My back,
I break my hands
And legs
Every night ;
And as
The morning light
Bursts against 
My skin,
As dawn starts
To crawl into
My eyes,
I start to mend
Myself back
Into the 
Statute that
I am 

Homesick i was,
Toxic we were,
Smothered he was,
So a prison we became,
And 
A
Person
I 
Was
Not 

...Much more like
An unkept rose,
Wild with all
Its thorns
And secrets;
I am sure
He bled
Everywhere he
Touched me,
For i felt it run 
Down my back,
Hot and heavy
Where his lust
Should have been,
I am a whore
In his bed,
Touched
Only 
By his 
Words

Come,
Let me 
Show you
How hard 
My bitterness
Can fuck 

No will
To sing
For life;
No will
To comb
My hair
At night 


I had forgotten 
What it meant
To grow;

Now all
I do 
Is survive 

I had been
A mother
For 6 weeks;

That's all
I have
To say 

So much lust 
In its purest 
Form,
I would 
Have been 
A fool
To not
Beg
For more 

My thirst
For you
Beats against
My shattered 
Ribs

May all
Our days
Crack

And Leak


With such
Substance 

Lonely is the process
Of repair 

He taught me how to love;
And I taught him how to leave 

Love used to run through
My marrow
Like holy water;
Cleansing all the sins
Lodged inside my
Bones

Like 
Love
Notes 
Marrying 
My 
Body 

I had once been a girl, A long time ago
Had paintings of war zones
On my bedroom wall;
wake up drenched in my fault,
There is regret floating in the
Sewers underneath my house;
Forgot how to love by the 
Bench near the sea;
I had told him the weakest part
Of me
Were my hands
For i was holding onto the past
For far too long 

I had no idea that day
Would have tasted different,
The nights were still as desolate
As the next,
My hands still empty
My heart still drying
From all the paint my lungs
Kept dripping
I would soon come to realize
What my taste buds were craving
And i do try to travel back,
Try to gargle his words a hundred times
Inside my mouth
Until i sense a slight change
A slight bitterness
A warmth that i didn't sense at the time
I had never been in love with freckles
In August before

I miss hearts
I have never loved

.....And i woke up,

Opened my eyes to

''You are a time bomb''

And i have tried to 

Drown out 

The ticking

In my ears

For months now

I am thickened around the edges;

I am all that i used to spit at

I am everything i used to laugh at

The days where i was everything

I admired 

Like an archaic feeling, he was,
He ached like a tooth left rotting away,

He burned like nothing i ever
Had the courage
To love

Had i ever wished to belong to such a cage;
My past, destitute and sorrowful without him, its roots like glued
Chains to my ribs
I sometimes think i can breathe
but it is only the circus of things

Aunt Judith,
I feel my bones may not carry me for another winter, 

And i covered all the mirrors in the house,
For fear that the person that stares back
Is but a mere false reflection
On a puddle i step on outside

Because the flesh that is
Sewn onto my once pristine bones;
Is starting to rot and i am left

With a ghost of a girl
And a ghost of the past

Sitting on my shoulder

10. He likes doing coke
I like just
Watching him
Do it
I guess 
We were both 
Addicted 
To things 
That killed us
In the end 

It is July 6th now,
And my body remains
A vine

I grow onto the backs of people
I have loved;
And my essence, it seems, 
Has only lasted for about
Six seconds 

''We all end up in the dirt, kid
Sooner or later,
Chewed on by wildlife
And left to rot
In the earth
That bore us
In the first
Place

We're walking
Talking
Bags of meat
And bone,
Quite literally

And yet we still think
We're meant tor something
more 

That
We're 
Special''

I am not sad,
I swear
I 
Am
Not,
It is not exactly
Sadness
That lies 
Within my
Collarbones;

It is a mixture 
Of lonely nights
And a damaged
Head; 

I can almost taste
How vivid 
Your vine-like lips
Glossed over
My own,

In a way
Which puts
Licking honey
Off a spoon
To shame