I knew about her
In the past, I'm not
So sure I know
About her now
But I wonder if we'll 
Ever hear her
Sing again,

I tried to steal
Kisses from 
The sun, 

In between

My curtains

I saw clouds

Taunting me,

I wish to get

As close as them
To the light, 

So i may burn off

Like a moth

In the night,

To feel my wings
Dance together
With the winds, 



Forget I was ever
A  body
To begin with, 



Forget I was ever
A body 
To feel with,



A heart the colour
Of the skies, my eyes
a martyr for the blind



i tried to steal kisses
from the sun
But burnt 
My lips in 
The process 

Inside my womb, thrives a nightmare
Of a barren hell,

It lays haunted, as I 
Sleep I dream of
Children crying;

I dream of cradles
Burning into the 
fruitless night, 

My womb, a playground
For the dead,

They call me Mother
Of the unborn ghost, 

The maimer of light;

The birther of death
Onto a sterilized hospital
Bed, 

I have paid to have my 
Insides branded by metal;

And i keep waking up
With the taste of steel
Onto the back of my teeth,

A constant reminder
That i am a thief
Of life itself,


And as an unmarked grave sits 
Somewhere in a landfill, 

I write eulogies on paper
And throw them in every 
Dumpster i can find,
In hopes it ends up
Back to you,



And when i'm gone, my little one
From this place,

Know i hold you deeply 
In my empty heart,

I hear your voice 
Echoing throughout
My scarred tummy,

Singing tales of  
Wednesday mornings
Coming short, 

Birthday candles
Never been blown, 

Still burning inside 
My lungs 
Until i breathe
Too hard one day
And suffocate on 
The fumes of 
My own sin

The sewers flow beneath me like an ocean
As i gasp for air i am reminded
That my lungs do not exist,
Replaced at birth by two giant iron fists;

And if i had to describe it; 
It be almost like the first time
My teeth started to rip 
Through my gums;

In pain, but not able to 
Tell you why or where
It hurts,

And if anyone had the right mind
To tell me I would start to grow
Backwards into the ground;

I would have held onto you
A little bit tighter,
As my hands rip right through your skin,
Residue of your ghost
Stuck onto my fingers

I'd suck on my thumb
Until I fell asleep

AND AS CARELESSLY
AS EVER BEFORE

I DIPPED OUR
LOVE INTO A PLAGUE
OF A HEART;

SOUGHT SUN
IN THE PALMS
OF A SHADOW MAN

WORE MY LIPSTICK IN THE 
DARKEST SHADE OF REGRET;

DISINTEGRATE INTO THE SOIL
LIKE THE WORM THAT I AM,

SCREAMED LOVE INTO THE NIGHT
IN CASE HE WAS UP SMOKING 
ABOUT THE REASONS I WAS 

DANCED ON BRITTLE GLASS
AS THE SOUND ECHOED
OF A VOICE I ONCE
HEARD;

DRANK SPOILED MILK
AS THE TASTE OF MY
ADULTERY
BURNED HOLES
DOWN MY NECK


NOW EVERY TIME I DARE
SPEA
           K

                  WORDS KEEP FALLING
                      RIGHT THROUGH
                            TO MY KNEES

AND UNTIL I TIRE
I WILL
SPEA
          K

               UNTIL MY KNEES
                 BECOME THE POEM
                    I SO EFFORTLESSLY
                       SCRAPE ONTO THE PAVEMENT
                           OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE

There is a place,

Beyond skin,
Beyond bone,
Beyond flesh,
Beyond time,

You'll find me 

Patiently waiting


I'll be the light
That shines
The dimmest
And smells like
A familiar story


Come find me there,
We can talk about 
How flesh feels
Heavy

And how the heart
Can break 
Under such
Weight


And we can share tips
On how to live
With the pain
In our chests

And how to make
Eulogies out of
This ship wreck
Of a love


I can teach you how 
To leave, and you can
Teach me how to
Stay


There is a place,

I never showed you
Where it is, but you
Seem to find it
Every time you
Think of me


There is a place, 

That i still visit
From time 
To time
And I wonder
When you will,
Too

I'VE MADE FRIENDS
WITH A PIZZA BOX
BESIDE MY BED

A SINGLE PIECE OF OLIVE
DRIED UP TO A CRISP
SINGS ME TALES OF
THERAPY SESSIONS
I HAVEN'T DARED
TO ADMIT I NEED

MY FRIEND, A DRIED UP
SMUDGE OF
GARLIC SAUCE
INSULTS ME WHILE I WEEP

MY FRIEND, A STRING OF CHEESE
LOOKS OVER ME AS I SLEEP

MY FRIEND, A SINGLE PIECE
OF DRIED TOMATO
WAKES ME UP SO I CAN WATCH IT
SLOWLY TURN INTO
A CRISP,

THE PIZZA BOX
BESIDE MY BED

WATCHES ME EAT, WATCHES ME DRINK
WATCHES ME HAVE PANIC ATTACKS
WHEN THE WALLS START TO
CAVE IN

MY MOTHER NEVER TAUGHT ME
HOW TO FIND THE STRENGTH
TO CLEAN MY ROOM

BUT HER MOTHER NEVER TAUGHT
HER HOW TO TIE HER SHOES
SO I NEVER LEARNED UNTIL
I KEPT TUMBLING OVER AT SCHOOL

MY FATHER NEVER TAUGHT ME
HOW TO FIND THE STRENGTH
TO CLEAN MY ROOM

BUT HIS FATHER NEVER TAUGHT HIM
HOW TO CRY WHEN HE HAD TO
SO I NEVER LEARNED UNTIL
I HAD TO



IT'S BEEN FOUR MONTHS
SINCE IV'E MADE FRIENDS
WITH THE PIZZA BOX
BESIDE MY BED

MAYBE ITS TIME
THAT I TALKED
TO SOMEONE
ABOUT IT

My love, you have always been
The brightest star against the sky
I have ever seen
But there must come a time,
Where you shine so bright
That i mistake you for
The sun

We should have left our love

In the gutter where 

We found it, instead of 

Planting flowers and hoping

For the best

All good things must
Come to an end,
And i'd like to think
I was a good
Thing

How naive i had been
To believe you had the heart
And strength to love me;
A creature so heavy and
large it broke
Your arms

MAY THE FITTEST ONE
SURVIVE THE WINTER
MAY WE BLEED LIKE PLUMS
AT THE MOUTHS OF THE RICHER
MAY WE PAY WITH PAPER
FOR EXISTENCE
MAY WE REPLACE BLOOD WITH METAL
AND COMPLAIN ABOUT
HOW BITTER
THE RUST TASTES
AT THE END OF A TUESDAY NIGHT
WHERE YOU SIT AT THE EDGE
OF YOUR BED
SLOWLY
RIPPING THE MASK
OFF YOUR FACE
TO FIND THAT
YOU RIP PARTS OF
YOUR FLESH
ALONG WITH IT




WELCOME TO THE
REST OF YOUR LIFE
WE ACCEPT CASH
NOT CREDIT

Some days you make me feel
Like i gargle sandpaper,
In a failed attempt,
To scrape you
Off my teeth,


On other days,
I wonder if distance could have
The same effect as water,
Could the waves smother me
To sleep?
Could the ships ever imitate
The way you rocked yourself
Inside of me
On days where you still
Believed i was your
Restful ocean?


On good days,
I remind myself
That i have buried you twice,
And the third hangs around my neck;
Perhaps a poor reminder of
The rivers that once ran
Together with my veins;
I still feel a part of your hope
Sail together with
My heart every
Single night



On bad days
I am reminded of a reservoir,
Oddly in the shape
Of my palms,
Tides pull my hair
Back and forth
As if i could ever
Mimic the way your hands felt
Against my scalp,


As the waves tug
At my weary eye lids
On days where the reservoir
Runs empty;
I am reminded that
Water could have 
The same effect as
Water, and I've been
drowning in the empty
Pools inside
Your eyes
Since the day
I started counting
The good ones
And the bad